Tag Archives: budget wedding

Who’s Paying For Your Wedding? Some Surprising Contributors…

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Bride kisses her Dad, who helped bring her wedding to life; photo courtesy of Dean Michaels Studios

Right now, according to TheWeddingReport.com, the national average wedding cost is $25,631, and our recent survey shows that we’re far, far away from the days when the bride’s parents footed most of the bill (and really far, far away from the days when the bride’s parents also made most of the wedding decisions.) Now, the bride and groom are covering a big majority of the wedding costs, but they’re welcoming financial contributions from others. And you’re going to be surprised by who these Others are.

In 2011, the bride and groom took on 83.2% of their wedding expenses (that’s up 1.9% from 2010,) and parents footed in 2011 51.5% of the bills. That too is up a bit from 2010…mostly because we’re seeing both the bride’s and groom’s parents kicking in some cash for the big day. The old ‘Who Pays for What?’ charts in old wedding etiquette books have gone out the window, with the bride and groom and all sets of parents (since you might have four sets if both bride’s and groom’s parents have divorced and remarried) deciding for themselves who is going to pay for which elements of the ceremony and reception. So you might have the groom’s parents hosting the morning-after breakfast instead of the rehearsal dinner. The bride’s parents might host the welcome cocktail party for out of town guests. And did you know that it used to be the groom’s family’s responsibility to pay for the bride’s bouquet? That’s rarely seen anymore. Plainly put, the bride and groom join their wallets with their parents’ wallets and custom-select who will pay for what.

Parents often say they enjoy getting to taste and purchase the wedding cake, when the wedding couple gives that priority to them (and of course, joins them for the tasting!)

Now what about the surprising Others who are also contributing? Our report reveals that Other Relatives are pitching in 14.6% of the wedding expenses! And that’s up from 12.8% in 2010, a 14.1% increase! Who are these relatives? We’re talking grandparents, godparents, siblings and other special relatives who want the couple to have their dream day, more than they want to give them a blender as a wedding gift. So you might see a set of grandparents paying for the photography package as their wedding gift to the bride and groom who can’t foot the pricy bill. Godparents might pay for the classic car as their wedding gift to the couple. Yes, it can be an exorbitant gift in many cases, but it can also be a smaller gift…like grandparents paying for the marriage license. They’re part of the team, picking up part of the bill, so they’re in the stats.

Who else is helping to bring the dream day to life? This one surprised me, and made me quite happy: our survey respondents said 6% of wedding cost contributors are Friends. That’s up — get this! — 25% from 2010. And again, it might be a lofty expense, or it might be something less expensive. “I knew my best friend was disappointed that her budget wouldn’t allow her to get her hair and makeup professionally done for her wedding day,” says one spectacular friend who also happened to be a bridesmaid. “So I joined up with the other bridesmaids to give her a combined birthday-bridal shower gift of a $400 gift card to her favorite bridal salon so that she could get her hair, makeup and nails done!” Those friends just paid for a part of the wedding budget and gave the bride an experience she deeply wanted, and will never forget.

We’re seeing more loved ones offering to help pay for dream weddings, and more groups enjoying customizing who will pay for what…and brides and grooms are — according to our report — keeping their costs on the moderate level. They’re not using the eight wallets in the mix to add exorbitant elements to their day. No one’s saying, “Grandma wants to pay for the entertainment? Well, then we will get that 12 piece orchestra!” No, they’re still operating on a careful and often conservative budget. Our surveys and Trend Talks reveal that couples want more romantic, simple and fun weddings, rather than formal, ornate ones. They’re spending less overall, often inviting fewer people, and including more unique options. They’re just adding more oomph to the wedding budget they do have access to, thanks to the generous loved ones all around them.

Who is helping to pay for your wedding, and how did you and they choose what they’d contribute to?

Unique wedding locations add a dash of flair

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A lovely sight at a family farm wedding

In recent months, rustic weddings held in barns and at outdoor settings have been a popular choice, and the trend points to the importance of a floral designer’s or coordinator’s eagle-eye for design detail in a unique site. They take one look at a unique site’s existing architecture, high ceilings, exposed beams, finials on window treatments, fireplaces…and they sketch out masterpieces for brides and grooms on any budget to create a celebration that looks like a million bucks. Without the million bucks.

An estate house's veranda overlooking a golf course, TheParkSavoy.com

When you choose a unique location that already has phenomenal existing details, you only need to add a few more decor touches. That makes wise budget sense. And that magically turns into the impression that you spent a lot more.

The write-in site suggestions in the 2010 Ceremony and Reception Study provide a jaw-dropping collection of locales that could be home to your amazing wedding. Here are just a few that floored me for their design opportunities and guests’ Wow Factor: aquarium, art gallery, country B&B, and opera house. Several write-ins mentioned ranches for that rustic appeal, and I love the idea of renting out a family farm for your wedding’s setting.

Beyond the rustic appeal of a farm, you’d be doing a wonderful thing in helping to support the small farm community. I talked to a local farm family who beamed about recent weddings they hosted, how their teams helped set up tents in cleared, non-grazing fields, strung lights along their barns, and offered steep discounts on their own organic crops for the caterer’s use. Couples further supported them by offering the farm’s own organic honey pots as favors, and place setting cards were attached to farm-grown apples and pears.

If you wish to find a family farm, visit www.localharvest.org, and call or visit to ask about private events held on their grounds during the different seasons. Expect the farm to enforce rules about off-limits areas and their animal residents’ quiet confinement, but you’ll find these friendly folks to be quite accommodating about helping you plan your wedding in their wide open spaces and rustic places.

If you love the idea of unique settings like the farm, the art gallery or the museum, but not for your wedding…they could be the home to your engagement party, bridal shower or rehearsal dinner. Smaller-scale celebrations may be better for more intimate settings.

What are your ‘write-ins’ for unique wedding locales? We’d love to hear your ideas, or stories about your wedding.

Simple, Subtle Cake Decor

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The wedding cake…guests gravitate right to it, taking photos of its grandeur, and counting the minutes until they get to taste it. Brides say that when they walked into their receptions, their cakes take their breath away…

Some wedding cakes are decorated so intricately, with hundreds of hours put into icing elaborate incarnations of the bride’s wedding dress lace, or thousands of iridescent icing ‘pearls,’ that you almost don’t want to eat it [oh, but just try to stay away! It's impossible!]

Photo courtesy of Ron Ben Israel

Cake artistry is one of the most glamorous elements of wedding planning, and couples pore over the images of celebrity cake-bakers’ masterpieces, literally drooling over the intricacy of decorative sugar embellishments. Tiny anemones are hand-crafted from fondant or sugar paste, and crystals and rhinestones adorn ribbon-wraps on each layer of the cake. Even sparkling crystal brooches are affixed to the front ribbon wrap, presenting the cake like a diamond-studded present.

Brides and grooms who hold it as a top priority to design a wedding cake that’s a work of art will surely devote a larger chunk of their budgets to this visual highlight of their day, often scaling back on their invitation design or favor choices to allow them more freedom to spend thousands on their ultra-impressive cakes.

But there’s a new trend happening in wedding cake world: choosing simple, understated accents on an elegantly-simple frosted cake. Gone are the lace icing designs, the anemones, the bling. Instead, the cake stands in its layered glory — square shapes are the hot trend now — accented by just a few frosting roses and stick-ins that match the theme.

Photo courtesy of Rich Penrose, www.deanmichaelstudio.com
Photo courtesy of Rich Penrose, www.deanmichaelstudio.com

On the cake above, a half dozen silk butterflies purchased at the craft store made the bride’s dream come true for her spring wedding, and the $12 pricetag for those accents were a far cry from the $1,200 that might be charged for ultra-detailed hand-crafted cake accent artistry.

Here are some ways to decorate your cake with simplicity of design, creating a gorgeous wedding cake that belies its inexpensive pricetag:

1. Wrap the bottom of each layer in a colorful silk ribbon, to coordinate with the wedding decor.

2. As you see in the image above, have floral pieces set behind the cake, such as on a fireplace mantel, to make those simple frosting roses really ‘pop.’

3. Rather than place the bridesmaids’ bouquets spaced-apart around the cake, bunch two together in front, then place one on one side and one on the other for a floral design that looks more expensive than it is.

4. Surround the simply-designed cake with a dozen or so clear or frosted glass votive holders and votives that match the color of the cake, or of the frosting rose color. If the cake is square, choose quare votives. If the cake is round, choose round ones.

5. Instead of covering the cake with a cascade of fresh flowers, pop in one or two full, bloomed roses per cake layer, as you see above.

Yes, intricate frosting accents do cost extra due to the amount of labor it takes for the baker’s team to create, but the #1 most affordable cake piping accent is little icing pearls. Talk with your cake designer about the ways to achieve that design with simplicity in mind, such as spacing out the ‘pearls’ or just icing-dotting the bottom and top layers.